Lesson #1: What to do when your kid pukes in their carseat

This is a twofold lesson.

Problem #1: You have a sick child in a carseat covered in puke, and you are driving, fast, and 1.5 hours away from home

First, panic sets in, but panicking does no good, crying starts, you want to cry too, but realize if you are both crying, the problem is not solved, child is still in carseat covered in puke while you are going 70mph down the freeway. You pull it together and in a split second realize you have wipes in your center console, but nothing else. No towels, no change of clothes, no bucket in case this happens again and your kid is sitting in her own puke. You hand wipes back to her and watch in the mirror while she sadly wipes her face and hands between heaving sobs.

WHERE IS THE NEXT EXIT, my brain screams, I swear we pass one every other mile, and now there are none to be seen!!! Finally, I pass a sign, 12 miles to next exit, so basically an eternity.

Call friend you are visiting and explain situation, ask, pathetically, how far we are from her house, and pray to the Lord that a) we are close and b) she offers to take us in despite my puke covered child. The Lord answers my prayers, both come true. We arrive and I am able to clean her up in a house and am offered a change of clothes.

Nearly cry when my child cries and says "they won't like me because I have puke on me"

Thank the good Lord she could ride in her brothers carseat on the drive home and also be glad I have a sinus infection and cannot smell a damn thing. Crisis somewhat diverted.

Problem #2: You have a carseat covered in puke, puke that has now dried.

Avoid, avoid, avoid cleaning it, until your husband suggests doing it, say something like "no, I'll do it, I'm just really tired, but I'll do it", he gets up and does it right away. Remind myself how lucky I am to have married a man who offers to clean up kid puke.

He scrapes, scrubs and wipes down the carseat, comes back in the house gagging, phew, I dodged that bullet.

Monday morning comes and my child gets in her carseat and flips the crap out, screaming about her carseat smelling like puke. Glad my sinuses still don't work, but this sucks, and it's Monday morning and there is no time to do anything about it, so I listen to cries the whole drive to daycare.

That night it's febreze, Febreze, and FEBREZE the hell out of it, open car windows, and cross my fingers for the next morning. The next morning, failure, more screams of "it smells like puuuuuuuuuuuuke" ... well damnit.

I realize the carseat needs to come out, be taken apart, fabric washed, just about the worst thing ever. So I do it, and febreze the hell out of it again. Somehow I manage to put the damn thing back together. I'm getting angry at this carseat, if you can't tell. I still have no sense of smell, so I have to ask husband to smell it non stop, he finally says he can't smell the puke. Phew.

Next morning I get a "oooh this smells like strawberries" ... SUCCESS. The morning after that ... "this smells like puuuuke" DAMNIT, MOTHER F-ER.

Next step, throw the damn thing away and buy a new freaking carseat. Curse everything at the fact that we just bought this carseat 2 months ago. Curse my sinuses for starting to work again tonight and I now have to commute in a car that smells like puke.

NO BOOK PREPARED ME FOR THIS!!!!!

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Welcome to my blog! This is my outlet, after long days spent working and raising two kids, to use humor and sarcasm to document the crazy things we go through each day! Things I never envisioned I'd be doing when we decided to start our family. Hope you enjoy the ride!